My mantra is centered around determined work to do whatever the hell you want. I guess that’s not a popular view, though, as it seems that simple diligence is renowned to an astronomical degree. I can understand why, I just think it’s not as impressive as all the praise leads me to believe.
One beef I have with this situation is that envy is basically spilling out of certain people. I definitely don’t want that; it makes me feel like I’m doing wrong. I’m not searching for attention, I just find myself to be diligent. It makes me a little sad, as well. These people want what I have; I don’t care for it, but I can’t actually give it to them.
Even as I write this, I feel more and more self-centered and obnoxious than I intend to be. I swear to God, I couldn’t care less about recognition, though; I just want to do things that make me happy, namely act that help someone else get through their problems. I want everyone that I can by being the best me that I can be, and for all but one person, that’s gained their favor.
This person hated me unconditionally. I had no idea as to why that was, but I could certainly make a few guesses. To make things more complicated, I was in love with this person; beyond here lies an even larger mystery: Why exactly did I feel that way? Maybe it was the first time in my life that I got a different reaction to the way I presented myself. She played hardball. She hated me so much that she played with me to get me to do shit for her. Anyway, I never answered either of these questions I had. The story was to show you that I’ve been given much less than praise, and to be honest, I think I enjoyed it to an extent. But the whole essay was to tell you that if you feel like I’m getting surrounded by attention, I feel it, too, and I’m sorry if you don’t like it. But you should always know that I know that everyone is capable of much more than me. Just keep trying harder.
One beef I have with this situation is that envy is basically spilling out of certain people. I definitely don’t want that; it makes me feel like I’m doing wrong. I’m not searching for attention, I just find myself to be diligent. It makes me a little sad, as well. These people want what I have; I don’t care for it, but I can’t actually give it to them.
Even as I write this, I feel more and more self-centered and obnoxious than I intend to be. I swear to God, I couldn’t care less about recognition, though; I just want to do things that make me happy, namely act that help someone else get through their problems. I want everyone that I can by being the best me that I can be, and for all but one person, that’s gained their favor.
This person hated me unconditionally. I had no idea as to why that was, but I could certainly make a few guesses. To make things more complicated, I was in love with this person; beyond here lies an even larger mystery: Why exactly did I feel that way? Maybe it was the first time in my life that I got a different reaction to the way I presented myself. She played hardball. She hated me so much that she played with me to get me to do shit for her. Anyway, I never answered either of these questions I had. The story was to show you that I’ve been given much less than praise, and to be honest, I think I enjoyed it to an extent. But the whole essay was to tell you that if you feel like I’m getting surrounded by attention, I feel it, too, and I’m sorry if you don’t like it. But you should always know that I know that everyone is capable of much more than me. Just keep trying harder.